Archive for Jokes

港男十八式完整版 : 18 Stratagems of Hong Kong Men

// May 10th, 2014 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Jokes

Recently I watch Hong Kong TVB Drama Series called, “回到三国 : Three Kingdoms RPG”

tvbkingdom

No. of eps: 25
Year of broadcast: 2012
Starring: 
Kenneth Ma as “Sima Shun”
Raymond Lam as “Chu Got Leung”
Tavia Yeung as “Song Yau”
Joseph Lee as “Lau Bei”
Ruco Chan as “Chow Yu”
Sharon Chan as “Siu Kiu”
Cheung Wing Hong as “Fan Gen”
However this is the main part which caught my attention.
港男十八式完整版
Kong Nam* Sap Pat Sik
18 Stratagems of Hong Kong Men 
  1. 装假狗
    Jong Ga Gau
    Fraud or pretender
  2. 搏大雾
    Bok Dai Mou
    Taking advantage of the misty condition.
  3. 起尾注
    Hei Mei G
    Ungrateful
  4. 执死鸡
    Jap Sei Gai
    Be a shameless opportunist
  5. 揼波钟
    Dam Bor Jung
    Waste your eopponent’s time by prolonging it
  6. 揸流摊
    Jar Lau Tan
    Doing a task with so-so result and not serious.
  7. 放飞机
    Fong Fei Gei
    Avoid appointments
  8. 爆阴毒
    Pau Yam Duk
    Spread negative untrue rumours about others
  9. 食住上
    Sik Tzi Seung
    Seek your opponent’s weakness and walk all over him
  10. 屈尾十
    Wat Mei Sap
    Lay a trap and blame your opponent
  11. 蚀头注
    Sit Tao Ju
  12. 挍 烂脚
    Ngau Lan Geuk
    Be very persistent
  13. 走精面
    Jao Jeng Min
    Avoid responsibility
  14. 顶硬上
    Ding Ngang Seong
    No matter the hardship, just do it!
  15. 搲烂面
    Wear Lan Min
  16. 侧侧膊
    Chak Chak Bok
  17. 抛浪头
    Pau Long Tau
  18. 扮死狗
    Ban Sei Gau
    Never be too ashamed to beg

 

ID ten T error code

// June 3rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Jokes


I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like  Mission Control and asked him to come over.  Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

  As he was walking away, I called after him.

‘So, what was wrong?  He replied,

‘It was an ID ten T error.’  I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,

‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’  

Eric grinned….

‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’
‘No,’ I replied.  

‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
……..

…………
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…….

 

…

So I wrote down:    I D 1 0 T 

Dilbert’s Rules Of Order

// November 14th, 2004 // No Comments » // Jokes

  1. I can only please one person per day. … Today is not your day… Tomorrow is not looking good either.
  2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
  4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
  5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
  6. I DON’T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM . . . YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
  7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, “where the heck is the ceiling?”
  8. My reality check bounced.
  9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  10. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
  11. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  12. EVERYBODY IS SOMEBODY ELSE’S WEIRDO.
  13. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with their experience.
  14. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt
  15. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  16. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
  17. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  18. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  19. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  20. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
  21. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
  22. If at first you don’t succeed . . . skydiving isn’t for you.
  23. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
  24. When everything is coming your way . . . you’re in the wrong lane!
  25. Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
  26. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
  27. There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn’t get worse every year.
  28. I am having an out of money experience.
  29. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
  30. I plan on living forever… So far, so good.